All Hallows Eve!

I haven't posted in a while, I finished my room, it looks badass! My mum did all the trim and it looks very pretty. A lot plainer, but nice. The walls are the colour of foundation. If you have a tan at least. Not my foundation for sure....  I'll post pictures later this week as well as update on school.

I love Halloween. If I thought I could get away with it I would absolutely still go trick-or-treating.
Mum painted my face! All that skull anatomy in dental school paid off:

I scared some little ones away from the house.

A little girl asks "what are you?"
Mum says "a music student".
Yup.
I was trying to channel a little Wednesday Adams with the braids.... if Wednesday Adams was dead...
Scary thought: Wednesday Adams would be an adult now. A Mum? A banker? A serial killer?

Well, happy Halloween. Don't get a sick tummy by eating too much of your little sister's candy.

Hoarder Journal #1.

     I'm redoing my room. I realized a little while ago that this is something I've been putting off because of the amount of time I spend sitting around fantasizing about having my own apartment, but the likely-hood of that happening before the end of university is slim to say the least. The last time I re-decorated was the 6th grade, and it's safe to say my tastes have done some drastic changin'. There's no harm in a new paint-job, some alternative shelving units and furniture rearranging seeing as I'm probably looking forward to another 5 years here, if not a little more (depending on the job market).
     Here's the thing though; I have a lot of stuff. I am not the purging type and few would praise me on my excellent interior organizational skills. Boxing stuff up makes me feel like quite the hoarder. As I categorize things to go into storage while I mover furniture and prepare to paint, I am perpetually alarmed by how much stuff I have! Where and when did I get all this?
Here is some of the hoardy-type inventory excluding the bags of things headed for goodwill:

• Sooooo much scrapbooking stuff. I don't scrapbook.
• Purses! Sweaters! A CHEST full actually. If you're cold or need to carry anything of any size, come talk to me.
• 15 inches of my hair from when I cut it in the 7th grade.*
• 23 pairs of shoes. 
• Toys! Toys! Toys! 2 boxes of "sentimental value" toys to be stored untouched and absolutely un-goodwilled in the basement, 1 box of "less attached but attached enough I have to give them to Jo so a stranger at value village doesn't buy them", 1 box "goodwill", 1 box "such good condition I don't feel badly giving them to kids I know (Jo included) as gifts".
• Countless pictures that need to be labeled and organized by date.

   
     It's a pretty discouraging process cleaning everything out because it means spending a few days organizing things and spreading it out all over my floor, making it feel as though I'm doing more harm than good. But progress is being made! Slowly but surely. Actually I'm moving at  pretty decent speed.

This girl's tumblr has been good inspiration - a reminder that I'll get to do pretty things once I've boxed everything up, purged and plastered up the holes in my wall.

http://fuckyeahbedroomdecor.tumblr.com/

Back to work I go!

* Why do I have 15 inches of my hair you ask? The plan was to give it to "Locks of Love" or something similar. As it turns out, they do not accept dyed hair sooooo I still have it. But that's okay, it goes with the ponytail of hair that was once on my great grandmother's head that my mum keeps around.....

Further remarks of a shrunken fish.

In an earlier post, I used the big fish/small pond to tiny fish/big ocean analogy to describe how I see my transition into University. Here's some more of that.

     I knew going from an advanced player in my high school orchestra to a university freshman in a renowned music program would be a big change. I put any ego I had aside and tried to open my mind to intense rehearsals and efficient practising. What I didn't fully understand I needed to prepare myself for was the hierarchy of music programs - particularly among string players.
     I had my first Music Education class the other day and realized that I am the only string player in the concurrent education program, and I think possibly the only string player in the faculty of education! At least in first year. This isn't really that incredible, I mean, there's only a handful of CTEP students in each year, but they're almost all vocalists or reed players! I don't know what it is about the saxophone that drives people to want to teach but it seems as though more than half of the Ed students are saxophone players. In 5 years there's going to be a sudden increase in saxophone classes available, watch out.
     Anyway, what's remarkable about me being a minority in my program is this: If I am the only first year string player in CTEP or Ed, it means alllllllll the others are either in perfromance, or striving to be in performance! The downside to this is that there is a general attitude among performance students that all who are not in the performance program, are not there due to lack of ability and skill, not by choice. I really admire these people and their love of their craft, but they don't seem to understand that music, is not necessarily my craft; teaching is.
     Here's the thing, I am at UofT because I really want to be a teacher and I really value music as a teaching tool and I happen to play violin. But, I am the only one who "happens to play violin". All others eat, breathe, sleep, and live violin. If I had a penny for every performance student who's asked me who I have "studied" under, or what "repertoire" I've worked on, well, I'd have a lot of pennies. I could probably get a chocolate bar..... well maybe not, there aren't many people in my faculty, but you get the idea. Who have I "studied under"? You mean who was my private teacher? A local woman you've never heard of. What "repertoire" have I worked on? Some Suzuki Method stuff and whatever that same local woman told me to try or thought I'd like. I guess these are normal musician-type questions, but never in my life have I been surrounded by so many dedicated and wholehearted musicians.
The nub of the hub is these string players (all performers), are the people I will musically associated with for the next 5 years. I think I will need to reassess how I compare myself so I am not discouraged in the ways I measure up.

LoLita Love!

LOOK WHAT I PICKED UP FROM THE POST OFFICE TODAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Oh yeah. I got them. I tripped on a credit card and here we are.
     In case you found this by google-ing "Jeffrey Campbell Lita" in search of reviews like I did a thousand times before buying these, then do it. They're great. True to size. Super soft leather, no need to break em' in, they're perfect.
     I'm a terrible vegetarian. Eating cows is a no-no. Wearing them? Well if I were a cow and had to be killed, I'd rather be made into a Jeffrey Campbell shoe than a McDonalds burger or the like. In fact, I think I'd be rather honoured to be one of this fall's most beautiful and trendy shoes, loved by celebrities and fashion bloggers alike. Is "honoured" one of those words that you spell with a 'u' in Canada? If not then I spelled it wrong. Twice. Who cares. Look at my shoeeeessss!!!!!

 I am a towering goddess. That is all.

Honey Money

     Today I listened to an Interview with Katherine Hakim, the author of "Honey Money". The book is an exploration of women climbing work and social ladders by accessing their "Erotic Capital", which she describes as being a combination of physical attributes, social graces and sexual competency. By putting aside traditionally feminist ideas about beauty being solely superficial, or that using your beauty to get ahead is something that not only shows a lack of self-respect and "real" qualities (such as intellect) but is something to be ashamed of. We have been taught to look down upon the woman who dresses like a character from Mad Men to be noticed in the workplace. Hakim argues that one's "Erotic Capital" is not taken advantage of by showing more cleavage and thigh but by appropriate dress, subtle flirtation and a general projection of good health and a positive attitude.

Catherine Hakim has got a lot of gall - That will get her far!

     While I didn't necessarily agree with everything she said I was finding the interview really interesting, I thought this was a very modern look at femininity and feminism (two things that are unfortunately thought not to go together due to the connotations and stereotypes that come along with the word "feminine"). In fact, I was thoroughly enjoying the show until Hakim said something that just floored me. (It floored my mum too, we were just discussing it). When talking about careers where women were ahead of men when it came to taking advantage of their "Erotic Capital", she brought up prostitution and suggested that prostitutes were in their particular line of work simply because they enjoy sex and thought 'hey, why not turn this into a job!'. I couldn't believe it! However I'm sure there are some prostitutes (or "escorts") who thoroughly enjoy their work, make excellent pay, live in fancy condos and charge lots and cater to the richest of the rich men out there on their own terms - are these ladies representative of the majority of sex workers? I think not. I imagine escort, erotic massage therapist, prostitute or "dancer" were not occupations that topped most of these girls' list of career goals for the bulk of their life, and I found it almost offensive that Hakim seemed to pass off all sex workers as simply being very successful in following the advice in her book while using the full power of their "Erotic Capital".
A great interview nonetheless. I would read the book, so I guess in the end, whether she has offended me or not, she has succeeded in selling her product and peaking my interest.

A Different Body of Water.

I started real classes Monday, it hasn't been long but here are some first impressions:
    
     UTSO rehearsed Monday evening. It was such a relief to learn that it isn't just a rumor they tell you in high school orchestras that a group of musicians can take less than a million years stop playing when the conductor stops. It did take an unsettling amount of time for the orchestra to get tuned up, but I'm hoping that will speed up as time goes.
     Monday morning, my very first class at UofT EVER was cancelled! I showed up for a teacher to walk out and inform us that we need not be there and they sent out an e-mail to that effect but she wouldn't be surprised if none of us got it. Oh well. I bummed around campus and checked out my practise room key and visited the book store.
     Today was better. I had my first trumpet class! My goodness, I will always have a great deal of respect for people who can play brass instruments. I spent an hour buzzing on the mouthpiece for 45 minutes and tried to wrap my head around quick transposition to Bb and that was enough for one day. If I make any incredible or impressive progress, I'll post it here, but right now I sort of doubt I'll get further than twinkle-twinkle. I'm sure I was quite a scene biking home with my violin, trumpet, backpack and a UofT Bookstore bag.
     I had my first private lesson today too! It was great. As someone moving from a very small pond to a very large sea of musicians, this is the first time since I was a little kid that I am in the lower end of the spectrum when it comes to skill level. My lesson was productive and went by fast, my teacher was friendly and could very well articulate what she wanted me to change and how to go about it. Most importantly, I didn't feel as though I was being compared to other violinists or that I ought to be learning and playing the way they do.
     One more first this week worth mentioning, I bought my first textbooks! Wow, I just remembered I need to write a couple good cover letters so I can hand out resumes tomorrow, textbook shopping reminded me of my employment needs....
     

Bleary Eyed for Coffee Change.

Why am I up at 6:30 on the last Saturday before classes start?

     I'm going busking in a few minutes at the St. Lawrence Market. I used to do this pretty frequently as a middle school-er and I would make a killing if I got there early enough to claim a good spot. There was a long period where I didn't busk at all, then a while ago I decided to give it another go.
     When I started again I realized that a large portion of the money I made in the seventh grade was less due to my skill, and more due the fact that I was a particularly small kid and everyone probably thought it was adorable that a 9 year old was out playing for money (when I was closer to 12).
So what? My mum still thinks I'm adorable.
Besides, I go more often than not with my string trio now (Rosedale trio - hire us), so we're in it more for the pleasure of each others' company and the joy of waking up at 6:30am on a Saturday than the cash. That's the real fun part.

Me, "busking" for the first time as a pretty little kid. This was actually a Pape street festival and I was simply acting as an ad for Lippert Music School (the place I took lessons) by being small and playing outside the shop. That's my dad's hat. It's a style Statement.
The first time I actually went busking on my own was at Taste of the Danforth when I was 11.